Hello Emily! Being honest your story confused me quite a bit but that is probably because I am uninformed about what this story comes from. Maybe I just couldn't find it, but if not you might want to add an Author's note because I needed a little more context. I also wonder what the characteristics of some of your characters were like Tasmetu and Marduk. I also wonder why people don't truly love the story of Gilgamesh if it was so prolific. I was thinking what if you described the characters a little bit more for the reader to have a better visualization of the characters. I was also thinking what if you described some of the setting a little better as well so the reader can visualize the scenery. I think with a tad more detail this could truly grasp the reader.
Overall I liked the writing style especially the rhetorical questions. Keep up the good work on writing!
Emily, I must say the title of your project alone interests me. It creates a sense of curiosity. So well done in pulling my interest immediately with your title. I like the voice of your introduction, as a god of writing. That gives you many opportunities and avenues to take stories in different directions. I must say I am unfamiliar with the stories your introduction references, so I look forward to seeing how they unfold in your project!
Hi Emily! I really liked that this was a journal entry because it introduced us right away to the narrator of the stories. At least, that's who I assume Nabu is. I kind of got what Nabu was trying to accomplishment when I used context clues but I wonder if this would be a little clearer if you expanded a little more on who or what Marduk is? Also, does is he tired of telling stories to the same people or is he telling these stories because people have forgotten about them? I wish we just had a little more background information because this is literally my introduction into Babylonian tales. Can't wait to see how this progresses because I have a feeling I would be really excited for the first story if I knew a bit more of what I was about to get into.
Your topic sounded like it would be interesting, which is why I choose to read your introduction. I just got done reading the first post to your final project. Let me start off by saying you did a very good job of introducing your characters to the audience and grabbing the reader’s attention. I am very interested to hear the type of stories that little Suzy’s father will tell her. From the reader’s perspective, I think your introduction did a very good job. The only thing I find myself wishing you would have included was histories. I feel like the father is a historian in some manner and would have given the reader a little bit more information on how these tales originated. One thing that wasn’t quite clear to me is if Suzy is a child or not. You said that her mother died “when she was a child”, so if she a teen?Either way, you have done a great job.
Hey Emily, I really enjoyed the uniqueness of your theme. I am a little confused though on what exactly your stories will be about. I think by maybe spending some more time on explaining what exactly your storybook will be about and how you plan on implementing it through the semester. I think that the idea of the gods is a great topic and can be so broad that if you don’t clearly lay it out it can be overwhelming to the reader. The idea of a recent time period for this is a great idea and I think will draw the reader in and make them relate to it more. I would just make sure and re read the story and clarify a little bit more on what you plan on doing and how you are going to do it. Other than that I think you have a great start to a storybook!
First, I really enjoyed the layout of your storybook! It is really attractive and clean. Second, I, like a couple other people, was a little confused about the context of the story. A huge help would come from brushing up on the cosmetics of the characters such as their appearance and a little more background information on them as well! I am a very visual person, so when I read a story, I need those details to "see" what is happening as I read the story. Other than that, I am really excited to see how it all pans out! Be sure to really delve into the details because I have a feeling a significant amount of your readers will be in the same place as me. I haven't had any exposure to Babylonian tales, but your introduction got me very excited to learn and I will definitely check back in on how this develops!
Hi Emily! Wow, I really enjoyed reading your stories. I think my favorite part was how the stories were written in first person. I thought this touch was perfect for your stores. In “The Rebirth of Earth” I thought the weather-controlling device was interesting. I wish you wrote a little more on how it worked, so we could see the creativity behind the idea. “A Sister’s Grief” was fun to read because of the intense dialogue. In particular, when you talking about “queen of the dead.” What if you talked a little bit more about your setup in your introduction? I found myself a little confused at first. You could add in more about what you’ll be writing about, and a little bit more about the history. Other than that, I thought you did a very well job, and I look forward to more of your stories and creativity. Good luck!
I like how you decided to focus on Babylonian myths. The intro is entertaining and ties the other stories together nicely. I am assuming that Nabu is writing all of these stories in more modern times. Your first story did a marvelous job of paralleling the Babylonian myth, with the husband going down south to get his wife. The whole thing is the ultimate story of revenge. Your portrayal of a goddess as an oceanographer is very clever as well. I like how you keep the Babylonian names in the story. Is this story supposed to be a cautionary tale for humans, about what could happen?
Hello Emily! Your webpage design is pretty neat in the sense of how the background image for each story goes well with the story. As I started reading your first story I was a little confused as to who was what or what was going on but only because I am uninformed on this matter and had never read about these characters before. I think it would be nice to have the name of the story in the Author’s Note so that the reader could know where these characters originate from and maybe even read a little background from it. I thought the idea of setting the North and South was pretty brilliant and that’s where I started to understand a little more of what was going on. The dialogue you used was great and I like how you let the reader know where exactly everyone is. Great story, I hope to be back to read some more throughout the semester!
Hi Emily! I like the setup of your storybook. Although, on the second story having the background be an image made it a little hard to read and so did the vast amount of dialogue. Although dialogue is helpful it was just all broken up so much making it a bit more challenging. I really liked the basis of your story but I think it would help to do have some information in maybe an Author's note that included background and character information.
Hi Emily! I thought you did a really nice job with your storybook — the design of the cover page, in particular, is really inviting and pretty. I like that some of the design elements carry over to the individual pages as well, especially the second story. Looks really nice, good job with that! In your first story, I think the dialogue helped keep my interest even though the story wasn't something I had any familiarity with. It really helps move the reader through the story quickly and easily. It might be helpful to give your readers a little more background about the story in the Author's Note — since most of your readers are coming in without much context for your story, a detailed Author's Note will help a lot. Overall, great work! I hope I can come back to your story to read more throughout the rest of this semester.
Hey there Emily. I usually start these feedback messages by first just giving my initial thoughts of the page and such. I like the look of it, with a couple different "bands" of pictures across the page. I thought that the introduction post were a little confusing but I have no background on the subject at hand so that is to be expected I imagine. I have to admit I thought maybe from the title this story would have some aspects from Star Wars because it has a planet called Nabo in the movies. That, I guess, shows my nerdiness if you will for that subject haha. Anyways, even though I didn't have much experience with this topic I enjoyed the thought of what you were trying to do, giving tails from the past, present and future. I did find it different thought that, for instance, the God and goddess of Mesopotamia would be interested in American affairs. Usually I had thought that the God's of a society usually stuck to that culture. It was a well done storyboard however. Great job!
The Babylonian mythology is an extremely welcome change to the regular reading of Greek mythology. Honestly I'm about ready to be done reading about Zeus and all the Olympus team. I don't agree with one of the comments mentioned above; the first story has a nice background that adds to its overall feel, and it does not impede the readability of the story. It does have the stereotypical upset-at-a-family-member section. Your stories have more pictures which help to put a picture in your readers minds as they read. You certainly had to do a lot of research for this project. I can tell you took this class much more serious than some of our colleagues. Okay, seriously, this story absolutely does not correlate to Star Wars, so I don't know what that comment was talking about. It seems as though you are done. If you have plans to get more points, you could make your story interactive.
I thought this choice of a project was extremely interesting, and it was fun to learn more about Babylonian mythology! I did have to do a little digging, however, because I did not know anything about the introduction until I searched it on the internet. I would have loved to have a little more background information before the introduction began. The writing style makes the content very engaging and interesting; making Nabu tell the story through journal entries is a clever way to introduce him as a narrator. After I did some research, I was able to see how the stories all came together. My advice to you would maybe to go into more depth about the background information! Other than that, it was well-written! Good luck with you're final project!
Hello Emily! Being honest your story confused me quite a bit but that is probably because I am uninformed about what this story comes from. Maybe I just couldn't find it, but if not you might want to add an Author's note because I needed a little more context. I also wonder what the characteristics of some of your characters were like Tasmetu and Marduk. I also wonder why people don't truly love the story of Gilgamesh if it was so prolific. I was thinking what if you described the characters a little bit more for the reader to have a better visualization of the characters. I was also thinking what if you described some of the setting a little better as well so the reader can visualize the scenery. I think with a tad more detail this could truly grasp the reader.
RépondreSupprimerOverall I liked the writing style especially the rhetorical questions. Keep up the good work on writing!
Emily, I must say the title of your project alone interests me. It creates a sense of curiosity. So well done in pulling my interest immediately with your title. I like the voice of your introduction, as a god of writing. That gives you many opportunities and avenues to take stories in different directions. I must say I am unfamiliar with the stories your introduction references, so I look forward to seeing how they unfold in your project!
RépondreSupprimerHi Emily! I really liked that this was a journal entry because it introduced us right away to the narrator of the stories. At least, that's who I assume Nabu is. I kind of got what Nabu was trying to accomplishment when I used context clues but I wonder if this would be a little clearer if you expanded a little more on who or what Marduk is? Also, does is he tired of telling stories to the same people or is he telling these stories because people have forgotten about them? I wish we just had a little more background information because this is literally my introduction into Babylonian tales. Can't wait to see how this progresses because I have a feeling I would be really excited for the first story if I knew a bit more of what I was about to get into.
RépondreSupprimerHi Emily!
RépondreSupprimerYour topic sounded like it would be interesting, which is why I choose to read your introduction. I just got done reading the first post to your final project. Let me start off by saying you did a very good job of introducing your characters to the audience and grabbing the reader’s attention. I am very interested to hear the type of stories that little Suzy’s father will tell her. From the reader’s perspective, I think your introduction did a very good job. The only thing I find myself wishing you would have included was histories. I feel like the father is a historian in some manner and would have given the reader a little bit more information on how these tales originated. One thing that wasn’t quite clear to me is if Suzy is a child or not. You said that her mother died “when she was a child”, so if she a teen?Either way, you have done a great job.
Hi Brianica,
SupprimerI just wanted to make sure you posted this in the right place, as I do not have a character named Suzy in my story.
Thank you for noting that, Emily! I think Brianica meant this for Collin, so I am going to copy and paste it there. Much appreciated!!!
SupprimerHey Emily,
RépondreSupprimerI really enjoyed the uniqueness of your theme. I am a little confused though on what exactly your stories will be about. I think by maybe spending some more time on explaining what exactly your storybook will be about and how you plan on implementing it through the semester. I think that the idea of the gods is a great topic and can be so broad that if you don’t clearly lay it out it can be overwhelming to the reader. The idea of a recent time period for this is a great idea and I think will draw the reader in and make them relate to it more. I would just make sure and re read the story and clarify a little bit more on what you plan on doing and how you are going to do it. Other than that I think you have a great start to a storybook!
Hey Emily!
RépondreSupprimerFirst, I really enjoyed the layout of your storybook! It is really attractive and clean. Second, I, like a couple other people, was a little confused about the context of the story. A huge help would come from brushing up on the cosmetics of the characters such as their appearance and a little more background information on them as well! I am a very visual person, so when I read a story, I need those details to "see" what is happening as I read the story. Other than that, I am really excited to see how it all pans out! Be sure to really delve into the details because I have a feeling a significant amount of your readers will be in the same place as me. I haven't had any exposure to Babylonian tales, but your introduction got me very excited to learn and I will definitely check back in on how this develops!
Hi Emily! Wow, I really enjoyed reading your stories. I think my favorite part was how the stories were written in first person. I thought this touch was perfect for your stores. In “The Rebirth of Earth” I thought the weather-controlling device was interesting. I wish you wrote a little more on how it worked, so we could see the creativity behind the idea. “A Sister’s Grief” was fun to read because of the intense dialogue. In particular, when you talking about “queen of the dead.” What if you talked a little bit more about your setup in your introduction? I found myself a little confused at first. You could add in more about what you’ll be writing about, and a little bit more about the history. Other than that, I thought you did a very well job, and I look forward to more of your stories and creativity. Good luck!
RépondreSupprimerHello Emily!
RépondreSupprimerI like how you decided to focus on Babylonian myths. The intro is entertaining and ties the other stories together nicely. I am assuming that Nabu is writing all of these stories in more modern times. Your first story did a marvelous job of paralleling the Babylonian myth, with the husband going down south to get his wife. The whole thing is the ultimate story of revenge.
Your portrayal of a goddess as an oceanographer is very clever as well. I like how you keep the Babylonian names in the story. Is this story supposed to be a cautionary tale for humans, about what could happen?
Hello Emily! Your webpage design is pretty neat in the sense of how the background image for each story goes well with the story. As I started reading your first story I was a little confused as to who was what or what was going on but only because I am uninformed on this matter and had never read about these characters before. I think it would be nice to have the name of the story in the Author’s Note so that the reader could know where these characters originate from and maybe even read a little background from it. I thought the idea of setting the North and South was pretty brilliant and that’s where I started to understand a little more of what was going on. The dialogue you used was great and I like how you let the reader know where exactly everyone is. Great story, I hope to be back to read some more throughout the semester!
RépondreSupprimerHi Emily! I like the setup of your storybook. Although, on the second story having the background be an image made it a little hard to read and so did the vast amount of dialogue. Although dialogue is helpful it was just all broken up so much making it a bit more challenging. I really liked the basis of your story but I think it would help to do have some information in maybe an Author's note that included background and character information.
RépondreSupprimerHi Emily! I thought you did a really nice job with your storybook — the design of the cover page, in particular, is really inviting and pretty. I like that some of the design elements carry over to the individual pages as well, especially the second story. Looks really nice, good job with that! In your first story, I think the dialogue helped keep my interest even though the story wasn't something I had any familiarity with. It really helps move the reader through the story quickly and easily. It might be helpful to give your readers a little more background about the story in the Author's Note — since most of your readers are coming in without much context for your story, a detailed Author's Note will help a lot. Overall, great work! I hope I can come back to your story to read more throughout the rest of this semester.
RépondreSupprimerHey there Emily. I usually start these feedback messages by first just giving my initial thoughts of the page and such. I like the look of it, with a couple different "bands" of pictures across the page. I thought that the introduction post were a little confusing but I have no background on the subject at hand so that is to be expected I imagine. I have to admit I thought maybe from the title this story would have some aspects from Star Wars because it has a planet called Nabo in the movies. That, I guess, shows my nerdiness if you will for that subject haha. Anyways, even though I didn't have much experience with this topic I enjoyed the thought of what you were trying to do, giving tails from the past, present and future. I did find it different thought that, for instance, the God and goddess of Mesopotamia would be interested in American affairs. Usually I had thought that the God's of a society usually stuck to that culture. It was a well done storyboard however. Great job!
RépondreSupprimerThe Babylonian mythology is an extremely welcome change to the regular reading of Greek mythology. Honestly I'm about ready to be done reading about Zeus and all the Olympus team. I don't agree with one of the comments mentioned above; the first story has a nice background that adds to its overall feel, and it does not impede the readability of the story. It does have the stereotypical upset-at-a-family-member section. Your stories have more pictures which help to put a picture in your readers minds as they read. You certainly had to do a lot of research for this project. I can tell you took this class much more serious than some of our colleagues. Okay, seriously, this story absolutely does not correlate to Star Wars, so I don't know what that comment was talking about. It seems as though you are done. If you have plans to get more points, you could make your story interactive.
RépondreSupprimerEmily,
RépondreSupprimerI thought this choice of a project was extremely interesting, and it was fun to learn more about Babylonian mythology! I did have to do a little digging, however, because I did not know anything about the introduction until I searched it on the internet. I would have loved to have a little more background information before the introduction began. The writing style makes the content very engaging and interesting; making Nabu tell the story through journal entries is a clever way to introduce him as a narrator. After I did some research, I was able to see how the stories all came together. My advice to you would maybe to go into more depth about the background information! Other than that, it was well-written! Good luck with you're final project!